Unlike many infertiles, Mother's Day never bothered me much when we were trying to conceive. I wanted a baby, but the concept of actually having one and being a mother was so abstract to me that things that trigger many infertiles didn't affect me that much.
But now I know exactly how they feel. Because if I see one more article today on how to honor your father on Father's Day, or great Father's Day gifts for Dad, or creative gifts to make for your completely alive, non-dead father, I think I might hurl. Or maybe just hurl my computer at the wall.
I had been doing better when Spring came. But then we went home and cleaned out my parents' house, and now we're coming up on one year since my father died. I keep finding myself looking at the pictures of him holding K, and thinking about how much he would appreciate that her developing sense of humor is so much like his. So yeah, Father's Day? Not the kick in the stomach I needed right now.
I'm so sorry about your dad. I didn't have a problem with Mother's Day when I was just plain vanilla infertile. It's only now, after having children and lost them, that it has become so evil. I hope you get through the day quickly and with as little pain as possible.
ReplyDeleteOh honey I am so sorry - I know this will be a tough time for you. I'll be thinking about you (that sounded a little creepy but I did not mean it in the stalker way)
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