Tuesday, November 16, 2010

Letters to my children

Dear Alec,

Sixteen months is far too young to be able to work a doorknob. Furthermore, it is inexcusably young to be able to open a child-proof cap.

Love,

Your harried parents

Dear K's bladder,

We're giving you a third round of antibiotics, and even taking you for an ultrasound just to say hello and make sure you're doing okay. So if you've been feeling neglected, I think we're giving you more than enough attention now. Please get better this time, okay?

Pleadingly,

Me

Dear bacteria in K's bladder,

DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE

Homicidally,

Me

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