It's not terribly original to say that once again I haven't been posting much because I'm tiiiired, but it's true. Lately though, it's more that I'm sleepy. I keep drifting off in the evening, and a little worrying, am having a little trouble with feeling sleepy while I'm driving. Falling asleep too easily is a problem I have never had in my life. No, whatever else you can say about lifelong insomnia, at least you don't have to worry about falling asleep at inconvenient times. But it's like someone attached weights to my eyelids and they're doing their best to clang shut.
I'm not sleeping any less than normal, and in fact probably a bit more because I keep falling asleep involuntarily, so I'm not entirely sure what's up. I would say that this sort of tiredness normally comes with the first trimester for me, but I'm really really really really sure I'm not pregnant. Really. I'm starting to wonder if we should start casting a suspicious eye towards my thyroid again (although despite a strong family history of hypothyroidism and many, many doctors taking one look at my neck and ordering thyroid tests, in my many years of problems with chronic fatigue, it has never been my thyroid), or maybe check my iron or vitamin D levels. I'm wondering if I should wait until I'm completely done breastfeeding though, to let my hormones shake out. I'm slowly drawing down to pumping three times a day, which is producing about 12 ounces. It's about half of what Alec is drinking these days, which feels fine. I'm pumping enough that I don't feel like I'm giving up, but infrequently enough that I don't feel quite so chained. I think I would like to be done by the time we drive to Michigan at the end of June, because sitting the car and pumping in the parking lot of a Burger King in Ohio, trying to keep myself covered in case of passersby getting too close was not exactly the highpoint of our trip home last Christmas.
I'm starting to realize that it's less than two months until my children have their birthdays. That really doesn't seem possible. I've been trying to think up gift ideas for both of them, with mixed results. I can find lots of things K might like, but nothing is standing out as IT, so it's hard to choose. I have a bunch of ideas of things I could make, but again, I need to choose which ones because I can't possibly finish them all in six weeks. I've been sewing play food, so I'll continue with that, and probably do a couple dresses, but I have more exotic ideas that may or may not work. Alec is the opposite problem - I can't think of anything for him. I'm never good at thinking of presents for one-year-olds in general, and he already has all of K's old baby toys, and all he's really interested in is K's current toys. He's played with her kitchen far more than she has the past couple weeks.
What I would love to get them is a swing set, but I don't think that's in the cards financially this summer. The only playground within walking distance of our house is across a twelve lane raod, so we don't go nearly as often as we might. I'm also thinking that the playground will be difficult when Alec starts walking, since he'll be mobile enough to constantly put himself in danger but not big enough to use any of the equipment. I've been scanning Craigslist for cheap swing sets, but there seems to be some sort of time vortex on that site that allows them to sell before they've even been listed. We also need something pretty small, so while there are any number of lovely looking wooden child Habitrails out there, I think they would stretch past our property line.
And here ends the litany of First World problems for the night. I'm off to pump and possibly start sewing a felt orange.